August 30, 2012

How do you know when enough is enough?

I'm not a relationship expert, so I'm not sure when two people should call it quits. Is love enough to sustain a relationship or are there other things that need to be taken in consideration? When do you know that the fights are already too much? That yes, you are happy with each other but also miserable at the same time. Is that possible? When do you know that enough is enough?

Ever since we were together, we were prone to having misunderstandings. Though our nights would be spent in tears, we'd always be okay once the morning light comes. I always believed that our clashes was the product of us being the eldest in our respective families. I once learned in class that it's an important factor to consider when you are in a relationship. Apparently, we might not be able to see eye to eye because we are used to being dominant, being the leader. We do not know how to back down because we are too stuck on the fact that only one of us could get what he or she wanted.

Though it may not be such a big deal, I have a feeling our one-year age gap also plays a role in our fights. They say girls mature faster than boys. I also had a teacher back in high school who told the girls that we should look for an older man when the time was right. That way, your level of maturity would somehow even up. The problem with dealing with a younger boy or one that is of your age is that there's a big chance that he  doesn't have the same mindset as you. There's a tendency that he'll be a wee bit childish compared to his female partner. This is one thing that I always had to struggle with in our relationship. I try to talk with reason, but I eventually stoop down his level because he is easily swayed by his emotions.

I'm tired of crying. Is there such a relationship where in no tears are shed? I didn't want to throw away almost three years of being together, (albeit on and off) but I just can't take it anymore. I'd rather be unhappy because I lost him than feeling that way while I'm with him. Don't get me wrong though. When we are okay, it's like 7th Heaven. My mother once told me that he and I were miserable when we were apart, but then we were happiest in each other's arms. I honestly do not know what should be done. I do not know if I did the right thing. I love him, but I'm tired. I want to be with him, but I do not want to fight anymore.

Our relationship must be a lost cause. :(

If by chance you're reading this, I still love you, baby. I always will. I just do not know how we can stay together without causing nuclear wars whenever we fight.

8 comments :

  1. Oooh your comment thingy is on top of your blog posts haha. My bad. Yeah I know how you feel. When I was a sophomore in high school, I dated a boy a year younger than me. I know both of us were immature but one year really does make a difference. But that's the thing, if you guys don't do well apart, how will that work out later when both of you are too busy for each other? My current bf and I have been dating for 2 years and we spent one whole year with 200 miles between us. We definitely had trouble. But getting through an obstacle such as time and distance is what truly determines if the relationship is "the one". Because in my opinion, it's the worst trial. You need trust, patience, unconditional love, endurance, and understanding.

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  2. We are (were) also in a long distance relationship. It's a struggle everyday. I totally forgot to mention that in my post. Sigh. Thanks for sharing! :)

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  3. Oooh I see. No problem! Hang in there girl. Long distance make reunions all the more happier ^_^

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  4. Following from the blog hop. I can say, after marrying my husband when we were both 18, and are now 49, that there i much to be said for sticking together if love is still there. You may be able to love each other forever, but you will still have days, years even, when you can't stand each other. Loving and disliking can happen together. Then you just have to focus on being willing to work at it. admittedly i was the weak one. i'd get frustrated and scream, "i want a divorce" and break down crying. He was strong enough to appologize first even when it was my fault because he never lost sight of his confidence that I did love him. I would get all insecure and then be afraid to say "I love you" in a fight, because I couldn't see how he could possibly love someone acting as horribly as me. So we grew up together and had our share of battles, but it has been a wonderful thing being married to someone who really knows and loves all of me, bad years and great.

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  5. I'm a year older than my husband :) Relationships can have a lot of ups and downs. My husband and I got married in grad school and have been married ten years. We only dated for 6 months when we got married, but we have only grown closer through the problems we have had. I hope everything can be worked out in your relationship. It sounds like you both care for each other greatly. I saw your post on blogaholic and I'm following you now. I look forward to your future posts :)

    http://wvfrugal-wvsaver.blogspot.com/

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  6. To echo and Frugal in WV: Thank you so much for the comments. They somehow made me hopeful. :)

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  7. My first marriage got to the point when there was no more good times and then I just knew it was time to leave - we were both broken - two years later I met the love of my life - You will know in your heart just be sure your decisions are not made in the heat of an arguement - following you from the new friends blog hop - http://practialliving.blogspot.com/ and wishing both of you the best :)

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  8. hernimc22: Thank you for the words of wisdom. :> I followed you back by the way.

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