August 22, 2012

Morbid thoughts on a Wednesday evening

Source: Unknown. Grabbed from Tumblr search.

I was about to bore you with my rants about my thesis, but I decided against it since it would just scare everyone away. Moving on, I wanted to pick up one of those blog challenges that are very popular on Tumblr, but I couldn't find one that was interesting enough. I decided to just stick to one topic for the night. I found this nifty topic generator online, and with it, I have thought of something to write about. It wanted me to list down the worst ways to die.

It's not such a pleasant subject. I was hesitant about writing about it at first because death is something most people aren't comfortable talking about. Somehow, (and oddly enough) this topic intrigued me for the same reason. Forgive me if I want to deviate from the usual tonight, so here it goes:

Death is probably one of my greatest fears aside from snakes. As far as I can remember, I have actually spent a few nights in the past just thinking about my own demise. The thought of disappearing from this world scared me. How would it feel? Would it be instantaneous or would be slow and painful? Questions like these plagued my thoughts throughout those nights until I just couldn't go to sleep anymore. It just seemed so frightening to me. I guess it's because death is like going to sleep permanently. You'll never wake up. And along with life, you also lose every single thing that you have. I'm not talking about material things. I'm talking about your thoughts, your memories, your passions, your dreams--everything about you is lost!

Of all the ways to die though, I think drowning is one way that I wish I could avoid. I'm not a fan of water. It's not from a phobia or anything, but I did almost drown when I was younger. That wasn't a major cause for alarm though, because I was simply hit by a net of balls that a childhood friend of mine was using as a floater. It caused me to go underwater unexpectedly. I also had a hard time going up for air because it seemed like an eternity until the net of balls would let me through. Aside from that, I have no other bad experiences with water. Maybe I just hate getting wet in general and feeling cold in the process.

Anyway, I wouldn't want to drown because it seems like a slow way to die. And if  it does happen to me (God forbid though), I'm sure I'll go down without a fight because I'm not a great swimmer. I think I can swim a bit, but I can't keep myself afloat for long. This is the reason why I'm not fond of boats. I hate the feeling of floating in the middle of a vast and possibly deep sea. It makes me feel helpless and small. I know it might sound childish, but I sometimes fear that the water would just eat me up or something. I'm easy prey since I'll surely be dead meat the moment I hit the water.

I also hate the thought of running out of oxygen because all of the air within you would be replaced with water. Worst of all, you would find yourself struggling for air. It's like fighting for a lost cause. You know you're a goner, but panic and fear would surely grip you as you drown. You'll force yourself to get a gulp of air, but you'll swallow water instead. It's really not the best way to die.

Additionally, there's this possibility that your body would get lost at sea if you died drowning. Sure, a bloated corpse isn't a pleasant sight, but that's not the problem there. The issue is what the bereaved family might feel. I think anyone would prefer to have the remains of a loved one to have closure and of course, a proper burial. Not being able to see them to say goodbye is just sad. It also leaves everyone hanging.

I know the random topic generator asked me to list some wayto die, but I do not wish to think more about death at the moment. I need positive vibes right now so I can get through life's pressing problems. (e.g. my thesis)

If you want to share your least favorite way to die, you may share it through the comments section. If you came up with your own write-up about this particular topic, you are free to post a link as well.

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